So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
