he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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