he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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