Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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