I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We need a shit load of segways right now
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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