Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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