If i come over, it means nothing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
