bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
