Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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