You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
