hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
