how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
