so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The power of my boobs compel you
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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