maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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