he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize