Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
