escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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