i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize