At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
