yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
