so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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