apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
