If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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