Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
