sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I love black thongs
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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