the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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