maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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