i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
