If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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