He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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