He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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