No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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