I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
