he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
