nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
