I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
