well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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