If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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