Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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