did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
