Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
