if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
