I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
