My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize