There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
