I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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