In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize