hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Having a random hookup so left but love u
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
