Have you finally orgasmed yet?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
