She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
