She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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