Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
