I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
