you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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