it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
