is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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