Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
