thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
