Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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