Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
