yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
