My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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