you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize