so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
false alarm. still invincible.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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