my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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