i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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