Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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