we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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