dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
