Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
