I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize