I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we made out on top of his cat.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
