i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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