If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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