I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Randomize